BLING THEORY ( or the Bling Blog I really couldnt decide)

Ok, I think we all know by now what it means when someone refers to "bling"... but just in case here are some visual (above) and textual aids for your understanding....



As defined by the "Urban Dictionary"

1.	bling	1341 up, 269 down
	Jamaican slang that has been adopted by some African American rappers and inserted into popular culture. The term "Bling Bling" refers to the imaginary "sound" that is produced from light reflected by a diamond. See The Silvertones "Bling Bling Christmas" for the earliest known usage of the slang. This "bling bling" shit has been done to death.

As defined by Websters dictionary

• Main Entry: bling–bling
• Pronunciation: \ˈbliŋ-ˌbliŋ\
• Variant(s): also bling \ˈbliŋ\
• Function: noun
• Etymology: imitative
• Date: 1999

: flashy jewelry worn especially as an indication of wealth; broadly : expensive and ostentatious possessions

Alright so I can think of bling, in its current definition, going back at least to George Clinton and thats just in my memory. Im sure there are others that I am not aware of, or at least that are not on the tip of my memory's tongue. Oh wait whats his name... the guy that plays in Groove is in the Heart? Its a funny name, Sloopy, Bitsy, Boots, oh yeah Bootsy ! Bootsy Collins! That song really had a lot going on, with Q-tip rapping and everything... I dont know if Bootsy is older than George but he popped in my head either way, I think he had some bling. ANYWAY, jeez. So bling has been around. It has its lovers and its haters. The haters like to call it tacky, obnoxious, and unnecessary. The lovers just love it I think, and truthfully whether you like it or not it is getting more and more creative as time goes on.

What I'd like to know is whether or not the lovers or haters have ever thought about why bling became such a thing. I have a theory.

It has been said of bling, even in the Websters definition, that one of its purposes is to be a show of wealth. An overt, in yo face, Ive got money honey show piece. Ive personally heard mostly white people criticize it, and mostly black people admiring it. Mostly. Of course there are exceptions in both categories. A white rapper here and there with some bling, a snobby black republican ( yes they exist, just look up the head of the Republican National Committee, Michael Steele) and I'll tell you what- the ladies from Housewives of NJ could give any rapper with bling a run for their money! My point is that overall I do see it as a black and white issue ( pun intended). Most of the critics are white and proponents black.

That all being said, is it really all that surprising or hard to understand that a black American, male or female, would want to spend their first big sum of earnings on something that would show the world they have attained success? Now this idea is going to touch upon big issues that deserve a post all to themselves but bear with me. I know its been what seems to us a long time since slavery was abolished, and civil rights were enacted, but we all know this is a deep, complex issue that lingers.

I myself have no idea what it would feel like to live in a world where it may seem like the cards were stacked against me. Of course, how deeply your life is affected by your race depends on location, family, education and of course money. I feel down and out at times, truthfully right now Im not doing so hot. Ive been looking for a job for what feels like forever and I have days when I wonder if Ive been "blacklisted" ( a term which ironically has no connection to ethnicity) from all the restaurants in Chicago ! But even on my worst days I still cant imagine adding to that emotion the idea of my people as a race having been enslaved, emancipated, degraded, upgraded at times, and finally given back rights that should never been taken away. I know a lot of white and black people feel this isnt something we should dwell on. To an extent I agree, and I am sure it is circumstantial whether or not this always comes into play. I do think though that to have on your back, to some degree, the idea that it is so much more important that you prove to yourself and the world that you can be a success based on this history is quite a heavy load. Its like being the first in a family to go to college on a much, much grander scale. Furthermore to understand the WHY of certain issues I think keeping this in mind is ever so necessary.

It has only been 45 years since the Civil Rights Act was put in place, outlawing segregation and implementing laws for equal opportunity. 45 years ! That is no time in terms of history, and we all know that when this act was put in place in 1964 the minds of the people who made these laws most necessary were not magically enlightened. Some still arent. Keeping all of this in mind now begin to think about white people. Even though I feel this should be assumed, I think if I dont mention that there are whites who havent always had it easy I might get in trouble ! I do realize that plenty of White, Hispanic, Asian and others out there also have had hard times. These are not who we are focusing on in this particular blog. All Im saying is white people have enjoyed the freedoms of success longer. We didnt have a time of oppression on this continent to set us back. Only time can bring about things like the term "old money" . Only time can allow people to go from humble beginnings to making money, then investing, and finally reaping the returns. Unless you win the lottery, making money, especially lots of money takes a lot of time. Time for trial and error, time to get comfortable enough financially to be able to take the kind of risks that earn the big money, without worrying about the stability of your family. Time is key.

Some people on the other hand have been at it for a good while now, and have had time to establish. Time to pass down money in our families that enables some of us to have an easier time earning even more money. Money for education. Money for hobbies that enrich our lives and sometimes prevent us from going down the wrong road. Money enough to feel mentally and emotionally calm enough to not entertain thoughts of quick fixes, or illegal ventures. Again, I am speaking in VERY broad terms, I know there are people of all kinds that struggle. This is a very general overview, but the truth that is there really does over time affect us so deeply and subconsciously in ways that form our behavior.

So when a rapper makes his first million and doesnt want to immediately invest it all, or run out and buy a house on Marthas Vineyard for his grandchildren to enjoy it makes perfect sense to me. When a singer wants to go out and buy a super giant diamond pendant instead of a "tasteful" strand of pearls, I understand. On an abstract level I might even go as far as thinking I would want to spend money on just the opposite kinds of things than the people who kept my people down. I, too, imagine that I would want to buy whatever screams to the world in the boldest way that I am a money making success, especially since I would have no idea how fleeting my popularity might be. This could be my only chance ! BOOM, Bling theory.

Speaking of bling, get a load of this...now thats what Im bleepin talkin about!

The Guinness Book of World Records has just added Rapper LIL' JON as the owner of the largest diamond pendant ever. The hip-hop star's, "crunk Aint Dead" pendant is 7.5 inches (19 centimeters) tall, six inches (15.2 centimeters) wide, and one inch (2.5 centimeters) thick. It weighs almost 12 pounds (5.4 kilograms) and features 73 carats of diamonds - with 3,756 round-cut white diamonds encrusted in 18-karat yellow and white gold. The diamond pendant has been valued at about $500,000.

and the story goes....

So to pick up where I left off a couple Tuesdays ago, Devin and I were not necessarily trying to get jobs together. We were on the hunt together though. We continued our routine of checking craigslist, making our own list and hittin the road... over and over and over. Until one afternoon I had an interview downtown and the plan was for Devin to drop me off and then continue his hunt until I needed to be picked up. So Im in my interview, thinking its going great, it was very casual and we talked about all sorts of things, different than most I'd been on. It was for a serving position at a downtown upscale italian trattoria. Great wine list and the food looked amazing. I had a good feeling about this. When it was all over I found out my instincts were right and my interviewer offered me the second part of their hiring process. It was called a "stage" pronounced st-aaa-ge...and I had never heard of it. It is kind of a meet the staff and hang around a bit interview, you get to see if you really are interested and vice versa. I agreed to it of course, and thought it sounded like such a smart idea. Why didnt all places do this? So we set a time and day, and I was on my way.

When I got outside I gave Devin a call, it turned out he was around the corner and there to get me in a matter of minutes. I got in the car and he politely asked me how it went down and what I thought about it all and patiently listened to me while holding in the fact that he had just been hired ON THE SPOT ! That bastard ! He had to one up me ! Just kidding, I was ecstatic for him and couldnt believe he let me talk for so long without interrupting!

So now we had one down and just one to go.... ME !

Is everyone really a STAR?

I really am at a loss when it comes to the whole reality TV, myspace, everyones a celebrity world we seem to live in these days.





Although I do think it is interesting and exciting how the playing field has been somewhat leveled by way of outlets such as myspace, twitter, blogs and facebook, for the most part I feel its taking us down a weird road. Is it awful that I miss the days when a pretty face and body only made you a model? Maybe I am just embarrassed for the female race when some of these girls open their mouths. The thing is some of these girls are absolutely beautiful, and have gorgeous bodies that no one can deny, but as bad as this sounds they have forgotten their place ! It used to be that women lucky enough to be born with the looks to model would focus on just that, and work with photographers to create artistic, beautiful shots. Oh wait, we still have these models dont we? They just dont have daddy issues or the media disease that is taking over the world. These outlets have given every person with a void to fill a way to get the attention ( negative or positive) that they need. It used to take a little more talent and a least a bit of brains for someone to end up with a microphone in their hand, or a book deal. Obama even mentioned this in his speech to kids on their first day of school. He said something to the tune of its not as easy as it looks to become a reality TV star, professional athlete, or rapper. Kids are understandably confused. The media, and the fact that regular people have such unprecedented access to promote themselves and show the world is making life and goals and dreams really confusing. If I was in high school already when all of this was the norm Im positive my outlook would be different.




Last night I was tossing and turning ( Ive had mild insomnia my whole life) and with hopes of burning out my brain I turned on a show called REALITY HELL. I had never seen it before. I had heard of it and had a fleeting thought at first that it might at least have a clever twist compared to most of these shows. It works like most of the others, where strangers are competing for something they would never even think of wanting without the hopes of getting their 15 minutes of fame. In this case, though, one poor soul is being duped. All the other people involved are paid actors. So this one contestant, in this case " Louie", who was a perfect product of everything Ive been talking about in this post... total douche that thinks the contrived sparkle in his eye and six pack that is exposed less than 10 minutes into the show are taking him places. In this episode three dudes are competing to win the heart and purse of a "cougar" and this cougar is on its its last leg, obviously this is to make it funnier? Anyway he falls for it and goes for the win 150%. And really who can blame him? How should he know that the same industry that helped make him into the super douche that he is, has now turned on him in order to find a new angle to exploit (and I thought this would help me sleep??) .

I thought it wasnt possible for me to think any less of the reality TV industry, but now I do. This is too much for me to cover in one post without going on and on and on... So lets leave it at this for now. Watch my Tila Tequila clips and you tell me whether inventiveness/capitalism or self degradation and daddy issues are winning this battle????

And if I may say Tila, I completely understand the desire to address people who might be posting negative comments towards your fans, and I even agree that they could find better things to do. But first of all, you of all people should know that is the sole purpose of the internet. People enjoy a freedom to comment whether or not any one else gives a shit. So on the one hand, I think you are wasting your time , on the other if you had done it well and articulated your point AT ALL it might of made a difference... way to go and f@*k up your one opportunity to show us you have a brain cell or two... better luck next time.

PUNCH you in the face ! ( it really will )

Punch. I know, I know, you think of spiking it at the school dance ( maybe that was just in movies) or a party at your Grandmas house. Well punch is making a come back ! Im not talking about your old run of the mill punch with pastel colored sherbet (a.k.a sorbet !) Im talking about punch that actually lives up to its name, and honors its fun, festive yet elegant reputation.

Sooo, todays recipe is for the best prosecco punch EVER !!! Just in case you havent been made aware of the joy that is prosecco, let me explain. Prosecco is, in a nutshell, Italys champagne. It is more affordable ( to a fault, if you know what I mean !) and absolutely delicious in its own right. It is not made in the strict traditional process that true champagne is, yet has many of the same qualities. Most grocery and liquor stores now have a decent variety ranging from dry to a bit sweeter and all very reasonably priced. It is great alone, but a perfect base for a light punch as well.

I made this to bring to a party last spring in Arizona ( which may as well be summer since it was HOT HOT HOT !)...It was a hit ! Among other comments I got a lot of " Its so hot out, I didnt want beer and couldnt think of what to drink... this punch is perfect !" , " not too sweet, refreshing, just right!" ... even guys were drinking it, just in a different glass !

Ingreeds...

1 bottle prosecco

peach flavored vodka( half of a 1 liter bottle, I told you it packs a punch !)

cranberry juice ( enough to make a ring out of and a splash into the punch as well)

one ruby red grapefruit ( cut in half, one half juiced one half sliced into rings)

1 liter bottle sparkling water ( anything from Pellegrino to plain old soda water will work)


This will make enough to fill an average size punch bowl.

The hardest part of this is making the frozen cranberry juice ring, unless of course you have an actual mold which I dont ! The idea here is to keep the punch chilled without watering it down. I simply poured the cranberry juice in a medium sized bowl and then rested a jar of something heavy right in the middle for the "ring" effect, place this in the freezer. Obviously you want to do this in advance.

When the juice ring is ready you are ready ( oh and if you used my method you may have to run just a bit of room temp water over the jar to get it out !) . If you are bringing the punch to a party, make it there, it is much easier and will be more bubbly ! Either way, put the beautiful ring of dark red cranberry juice in the bowl first. Then pop the bubbly and pour it on in, next half of the bottle of peach vodka, the whole bottle of sparkling water, a splash of the cranberry juice, and the juice of the grapefruit. Finish this by floating the grapefruit slices you set aside in the punch, these will add panache, slowly absorb alcohol and most likely end up a treat for someone special ! This punch is great ladled out into glasses alone, and also holds up well over ice.

Cheers !

Gotta Love the Kids

The kids are back! To school I mean, and we live RIGHT across the street from an elementary school ! When I say that I mean that I could throw a rock and hit the school, not that I would ever do that. When we first moved here it was one of the funniest things to me to just sit and listen to them when they were on recess. Since they alternate them all in shifts that means ALL DAY. It made me think back to being in grade school. Did we really scream bloody murder like that? I dont really remember doing so, but when I look at myself in the photo to the right I think I actually do see the glimmer in my eye of a child that could very well have it in them to scream bloody murder! Not the bad kind of bloody murder though, if that makes any sense. Just the crazy let it all out, obsessed with life, cant wait to get on the monkey bars bloody murder ! I wanted to get some audio of this for you but I was afraid to look like a creep, holding up my digital camera on the sidewalk near the playground ! Anyway, they were gone all summer and it was a little too quiet around here, so Im happy to have em' back ! So if you find yourself near a school playground take a second to listen to the perfectly balanced, loud and crazy anarchy . Think back to when you had that wonderful, scheduled in free time to go bananas just for the sake of going bananas. People actually scheduled this in for you. Why dont we do this anymore as adults? You gotta love the kids !

A Christmas Story ( long story, but I bet you laugh out loud)

I'll tell you when to start the music on this one if you dont mind...

So Im going to take a bit of a break and tell you a personal story. I know thats kind of what Ive been doing, but I mean that Im not going to continue from last weeks Tuesday post. I was reminded of this story recently and thought it would be a good one to share, and it is also keeping in the theme of Tuesday being a bio day.

Let us go back to last December I think... yes definitely last Christmas Im sure. Ok, so Devin was going coming home with me for the Christmas holiday for the first time. He had been to NJ with me many times already, just not for Christmas. Which, even as I write this, seems weird for me to be emphasizing since my family has never been religious. My mothers side of the family is Jewish and my fathers is Episcopalian. Maybe their parents were religious to an extent but in our hearts my immediate family just never was. Either way we always had a Christmas tree and a menorah in the house during the holidays. Some may think this to be superficial, being that these are symbols of religion, but if you knew us at all you would realize it was only that we couldnt resist being festive. Anyone who doesnt feel warm and fuzzy inside when they see a lit Christmas tree makes me a little nervous and very sad !

Point being, I was really excited for Devin to be coming home with me. Especially since on top of not being religious in nature, he really isnt one for the holidays ! So I was hoping our non- denominational, lazy, over-eating, movie watching, present opening, coffee and Kahlua on Christmas morning De Vesty family fun could turn him around ! So when we woke up at whatever ungodly hour it was leave for the airport in Phoenix these were the things going through my mind. Now I am someone who would rather be running to the gate and almost miss the flight rather than sit in those awful airport chairs for the 2 hrs early they claim you need to be there. Devin on the other hand is a plan for the worst kind of guy. Interesting combo. It works though somehow.

So of course our ride picks us up right on time, there is no traffic at all and we get there super duper early. Again, its really early, like maybe 6:30 AM by the time we get there. Barely awake we walk towards the gate thinking about whether or not coffee makes any sense at this hour. We decide to go sit down a minute and decide then. As we are approaching the gate I think, out of the corner of my eye, that I recognize a guy I used to date. It had probably been about 5 years since I had seen him and now, at 6:37 AM before my first cup of coffee was not when I felt like making small talk. Holy s$%t, he is carrying a baby ! I mumble to Devin to steer the other direction and find seats. He was confused but I explained it all to him as soon as we sat down. Well I didnt explain that it had ended badly, mostly meaning this guy had screwed me over big time. Boyfriends dont want to hear all that ! Anyhow, of course I spied a little and a clear picture developed that he was married and had a baby now and they all looked very happy. In all honestly I was happy for him. It was so long ago and we had both moved on, but that STILL didnt mean I felt like schmoozing at this early hour. Devin and I sat around for what felt like forever waiting to board. Oh and yes, this does mean we were all on the same plane, sorry forgot to mention that. The ex and his family were sitting just left of the gate door facing forward. So I knew when we boarded I would have to be stealth. More and more time goes by, and it seems like we should have boarded already. Great, now I have to pee. The bathroom was only right there. I could do it. Well, Devin was worried I was cutting it too close, again, not a risk taker in these type situations. So I waited. But then sooo much more time went by that I couldnt take it anymore. I told him I was going and that if worse came to worst I would meet him on the plane.

Off I went. I was in and out of that bathroom in record time. Barely dried my half washed hands and ran the hell out of there. When I could see the gate I noticed Devin was in line and literally next to go through the door to the sky way. So I ran my ass to the line, right past the area the ex and his family were sitting, in my peripheral I could see them. I made it up there and the man behind Devin was very nice and let me go ahead of him. Perfect ! I cant remember exactly what I said, but I know I made a cocky comment to Devin about how my timing wound up just right and how he didnt think I could do it. For some reason I was proud of this feat. Well the guy who had let me into the line, the nice man, he started mumbling something to me... I couldnt make it out. He started doing these weird eye signals to Devin. And then to me. It got really confusing. Then it seemed like he was looking kind of down behind me, I started to think he was nuts ! Then his patience of our non understanding started wearing thin. After a little more of this he finally leaned in to me and said " Ms., you have toilet paper coming..." He didnt even need to finish his sentence and I knew ! He tried to go on about how the same thing had happened to his wife once and he couldnt let it happen to me... he was probably just being polite ! So I turn to try and look but it was difficult, so Devin literally took me and turned me around so my back was just to him and assuming it was just a bit of paper he tried to grab it.Well, have you ever seen the bit when a clown pulls all the colorful scarves or ribbon or whatever it is out of his mouth and it seems like it is never ending? Exactly. It just kept coming. To this day I have no idea how I had so much of it in there !

(Cue the music)

So just take a minute and go back to the scene when I leave the bathroom... Think slow motion. There I went, proudly out of the bathroom door briskly walking at first, then jogging and finally running through the airport all the way to the gate and into line. Who knows how long that beautiful, hilarious, unbeknownst to me, flowing tail of toilet paper really was...So poor Devin politely rips off what hes got and we are standing in the sky way awkwardly, laughing nervously, not knowing what to do. So I hold out my hand for him to give me the tissue because it seems hes done enough for me already and he leans in and says two things... 1. "Just to warn you its a little moist" and 2. "I didnt get all of it" ! OMG could this get anymore ridiculous? I played it off like I wasnt embarrassed but of course I was, when I got on the plane I went right to the bathroom and handled the remainder of the tissue issue ! While I did that I thought of how much effort I put into not talking to my ex and meeting his family. Instead I went running past them with toilet tissue streaming out at least a foot behind me with a smile on my face. Is there a bigger idiot on this planet? I could have used the coffee and Kahlua I spoke of earlier right about this time !

Im pretty sure thats my most embarrassing yet entertaining story to date. Im not sure its as good in writing, but Ive had many a person rollin over that one in person !

Ah, what a wonderful world...

Only in America !

Remember a while ago the President had a meeting in Arizona and the news showed a man who came to attend slinging a gun? Well turns out the night before this meeting he was in Tempe, Arizona at the Faithful Word Baptist Church listening to a sermon by Pastor Steven Anderson. The story of this pastor and what he has been preaching broke last week.

This church is on Southern Avenue, a street I have driven on many, many times in my years in Tempe. I think I can even picture the church itself. We all know looks can be deceiving, but never in a million years would I have thought that such extreme, fundamental hate could be lurking inside. Its all especially surprising because though Arizona does tend be a more conservative, red state, Tempe itself is quite liberal. It is an independent Baptist church. Pastor Anderson does not have a college degree ( nor do I , not judging), but I guess that isnt a requirement, typically people in positions like his have come up through Bible College and start their own church. In his case since the church is independent he was " sent out by a totally independent Baptist church to start it the old fashioned way by knocking on doors and winning souls to Christ. This is the scriptural way" . This quote is direct from the website of the church (http://www.faithfulwordbaptist.org/page2.html). This website also has a list of audio clips from many of the pastors other sermons, very interesting.

In this clip you can hear a small portion of the sermon... ( if you pause this one at 1:39 its pretty priceless)



All that being said, Pastor Anderson has some serious convictions, and he uses the Bible to back them up. Quoting scripture to defend why it isnt wrong to pray for President Obama to die of natural causes every night when he goes to bed. This pastor also had a situation this past spring with border patrol supposedly harassing him and eventually physically harming him. Anderson claims the incident was unconstitutional, I believe it is being investigated but inconclusive for now . He also was against President Bush and the war in Iraq, so I guess we cant call him a racist. Darn ! Just kidding, the one thing I will give this guy is that he seems genuine. I know that must sound strange amid such and awful story, but I do have more respect for someone who I believe is acting on behalf of their true feelings regardless of how incredulous their behavior may seem. Most of what we see today are people saying and acting one way but having ulterior motives (fear), and hidden agendas ($) . Like some of the politicians against health care reform claiming to be so concerned with our elderly and small business owners when we really all know they are just worried about the relationship with big pharmaceutical companies. I mean since when have republicans ever been for small business, why should we believe that is such a huge concern of theirs now? Anyway, dont get me wrong, I am not supporting this guy at all, I might just have one little tiny iota of respect for the way he is standing by his own words. He knows exactly how he feels and seems so far to have no qualms talking about it. He has a right to express himself and is utilizing this right louder and more often than most, the unfortunate part is that people are listening.




Below CNN s Rick Sanchez reporting on the connection between Anderson and the man with a gun at the Presidents meeting in Phoenix...



This is Michelangelo Signorile of Brooklyn, a graduate of Syracuse Universitys school of journalism, gay rights activist and among other things a Sirius satellite radio talk show host, here he is interviewing Pastor Anderson...



I guess it shouldnt be surprising that where there is hate, there is more. I mean this guy is just full of it ! Now I dont consider myself religious in the conventional sense of the word, but I think I might start doing my own kind of praying that Pastor Anderson, and anyone as toxic as he, be delivered from the nonsensical, deep hatred that is most likely inhibiting them from truly enjoying the pleasures of life. For all of you Baptists out there, dont fret. Unless youre actually talking about apples, one bad one does NOT spoil the bunch !