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Wednesday, September 2, 2009


( jellyfish definitely do not multi-task)

Have you ever caught yourself in a compromising or awkward position just because you are trying to do 12 things at once, or to avoid making the dreaded two trips ? Why do we do this to ourselves? Just today I found myself with a cookie in one hand and toilet paper in the other. What the f*#k ? 1. Gross ! and 2. How in the hell? Well, there is what seemed to me at the time a perfectly sound explanation. Or at least a sound explanation of how I wound up like that, but not why.

Where do I start... I think I had just cleaned up the kitchen and was headed back to the other end of my apartment with some papers in my hand when I simultaneously realized how hungry I was, and decided I was too lazy to make something serious. So, I grabbed a cookie. Closing the lid of the cookie jar with the papers hanging from my mouth. I proceeded down the hall and had to make a pit stop. Into the loo I went. Immediately I put the papers down on the counter without hesitation. But what to do with the cookie? Something just did not feel right about putting it down on ANY surface in there. It wasnt because the bathroom was dirty, I like to think I keep a pretty clean place. It might have been in part due to the fact that I put some serious love into making these delicious peanut butter chocolate chip delights just the day before. Either way, I wasnt puttin this cookie down. So there I was, sitting on the toilet, peeing, with a god damned delicious peanut butter chocolate chip cookie in my right hand. Naturally when the time came I had to do the old switcheroo between the cookie and the toilet paper( does that need explaining?), and as awkwardly as I got into that position, I got out.

Am I the only one who does things like this?

Now I really hope my little anecdote wasnt too much for some people, I just dont understand why we think that those 15 seconds it would have taken me to put the cookie down in the kitchen and walk back to the bathroom are so valuable. Im pretty sure it didnt get me ahead of the game for the day.

Has our fast paced, coffee drive- thru, eat in the car culture penetrated us so deeply that we cant even relax at HOME ? Home is where the heart is. Home on the range. Home is where you hang your hat ( I think thats one ) . Where thou art- that- is Home. Home is where you pee with a cookie in your hand? I dont think so.

I told you Wednesdays would be a crap shoot ! ( pun intended)


  1. I do that kinda stuff all the time! Especially in the food service business? I know you know what I mean...

    The thing is, I usually end up spending more time to clean up or undo the mess I made, tryin' to save time!

  2. Yea I take the laptop to the bathroom sometimes as if I was going to loose time on a facebook post or status change in the 3 seconds I loose to the little girls room. You think a cookie is hard to maneuver with a toilet paperswitcharoo what do you do with a laptop in your hands......

  3. how funny!! i thought i was the only one who took snackable things to the potty...tim makes fun of me all the time :) my favorite is club crackers....and i never put them down on the counter either, no way!

  4. So cool to see comments on here ! Hooray !! And Im glad Im not the only one with a "cookie" in the bathroom !

  5. Sofunny.... i know i do things like that all the time. now that it's been brought to my attention i'm sure I'll notice it more often and can hopefully share the experience!